Some Writing for BIRDBRAIN press

I have not really posted much lately because I have been mostly writing for some zines for BIRDBRAIN press. We hope to have a bunch of writing to publish by Alt Press Festival in July.

Here is a sample from the Diamond Ordinance:

Manteca, California—search in Stockton, CA directory. September 27, 1953.

Victor Malchus Xavier (X), recently promoted to Chairman of the Board roosts in his chair, overseeing the eight men who in 55:29 will determine the ruling of the Diamond Ordinance. Not at all to be confused with the diamond ordnance that will plague the city under the Diamond Ordinance, should it be passed.

Thomas Thomas (+), Richard B. Thomas (*), Joseph William Blackman (>), and Edward Smithson (^) all respectable men in their late 50s, with exactly the same tightly cropped haircut, sit to the right. Simon Krilgram (~), Bartholomew Pinkerton (=), Thomas Marvin Green (<), and Michael Conkling (#) are on the left, equally reputable and well-groomed men, ranging in age from 47-69.

            “Well, as I see it, what we should be most concerned with is the safety of the materials. We really must ensure that the material is unharmed,” says +.

            “Yes, I concur. However, I feel I must repeat that it is of the utmost importance that the product is just as protected. How can we force our minions to comply with the Diamond Ordinance if there are NO DIAMONDS?” > protests, slamming the perfectly round, adequately lacquered table.

            “But what about the artillery? Should we not be concerned with securing our diamond ordnances? Those weapons are worth millions.” With this utterance, < receives looks of despair from his left, and frustration from his right.

This has been the situation for over 3 days, 7 hours, and 31 minutes. X has become quite perturbed and is finding it difficult to refrain from making his opinion well known. Like any juried situation, X holds the ultimate power over the ruling, but an acting head should only veto or announce his thoughts in the direst of circumstances. This mere dullness of bickering back and forth does not constitute a situation of that necessity.